Confidence and Self Doubt: Finding the Balance That Moves You Forward
Confidence is something most of us would like a little more of. It shapes how we carry ourselves, how we make decisions and how willing we are to step into opportunities. Yet even the most capable people can be stopped in their tracks by self doubt. That quiet but persistent voice can creep in at exactly the wrong moment, making us question ourselves and focus more on what might go wrong than what we could actually achieve.
Self doubt is part of being human. The challenge is when it becomes the default response to pressure or new situations. Over time it chips away at performance, holds back progress and leaves you second guessing instead of taking action. The good news is that confidence is not a fixed trait you either have or you do not. It can be developed, strengthened and reinforced with the right tools and habits.
Why Self Doubt Shows Up
Before looking at solutions it helps to understand why self doubt appears in the first place. In many ways it is your brain trying to protect you. When faced with uncertainty or risk, the natural instinct is to look for potential threats. That might have kept our ancestors safe but in modern life it often translates into second guessing, overthinking or talking yourself out of opportunities.
You might notice self doubt most when:
Stepping into a new role or responsibility
Facing pressure to perform, such as delivering a presentation or competing in sport
Comparing yourself to others who seem further ahead
Reflecting on past mistakes that left a mark
These moments trigger the same stress response as if you were facing something dangerous. The heart races, the mind spins and suddenly confidence feels a long way off.
The Cost of Letting Doubt Lead
Occasional doubt is natural, but when it becomes constant it starts to affect much more than how you feel in the moment.
Missed opportunities: You hold back from saying yes to projects, promotions or personal goals because you do not feel “ready”.
Weakened decision making: Choices take longer, energy is drained and often opportunities pass by while you are stuck in thought.
Lower performance: Worrying about mistakes uses up the mental bandwidth that should be focused on doing the task.
Impact on wellbeing: Over time the cycle erodes confidence, increases stress and can create a sense of being stuck.
Confidence is not about removing doubt completely. It is about learning to act despite the doubts and putting structures in place that support you to move forward.
Building Confidence Step by Step
So how do you shift from self doubt to a place of greater confidence? Research in psychology and coaching shows there are practical steps you can take.
1. Recognise the voice of doubt
The first step is awareness. Often self doubt runs in the background without us really noticing. Pay attention to the thoughts that come up when you face a challenge. Are they focused on failure, comparison or what might go wrong? Naming the pattern takes away some of its power.
2. Reframe unhelpful beliefs
Instead of treating every doubtful thought as fact, try challenging it. Ask yourself:
What evidence do I have for this belief?
Is this thought helping me move forward or holding me back?
How would I view this situation if I was supporting a friend?
Reframing shifts perspective. “I am not ready for this” can become “This is an opportunity to grow.”
3. Focus on strengths
Confidence builds when you remind yourself of what you already bring to the table. Write down past successes, skills you have developed and feedback you have received. Revisiting these helps balance out the tendency to only focus on what might go wrong.
4. Take small, deliberate steps
Big leaps can feel overwhelming and feed doubt. Breaking things down into manageable steps creates momentum. Each time you follow through on a small action you show your brain evidence that you can do it, and this gradually builds trust in yourself.
5. Build supportive habits
Confidence is not just about what you think, it is also shaped by your daily habits. Regular exercise, quality sleep and time to recharge all support mental resilience. A tired brain is far more likely to spiral into doubt than one that is well rested and balanced.
How Coaching Helps
Working with a coach can accelerate this process because it gives you space to explore the roots of doubt and structured tools to move forward. A coach does not simply tell you to “be more confident.” Instead the focus is on:
Identifying the specific situations where self doubt shows up most.
Exploring the beliefs and thought patterns behind it.
Building practical strategies that you can use in the moment.
Reinforcing progress through accountability and reflection.
Clients often notice subtle shifts first: Standing taller in a meeting, speaking up more quickly or approaching challenges with less hesitation. Over time these shifts compound into a stronger, more sustainable sense of confidence.
Confidence as a Practice
It is important to see confidence not as a permanent state but as something you practise. Just as physical fitness comes from consistent training, confidence grows from repeated actions that challenge doubt and reinforce self belief. There will always be moments of uncertainty but with the right mindset and support they no longer need to dictate the outcome.
Every time you choose to act in spite of doubt you are strengthening your confidence muscle. That progress is what opens the door to opportunities, resilience and long term success.
So…
Self doubt is part of being human but it does not have to control your path. With awareness, practical strategies and the right support you can learn to challenge unhelpful thoughts, focus on your strengths and build the confidence to move forward consistently.
If you find yourself holding back or second guessing more often than you would like, remember that confidence can be developed, and with the right guidance, you can make lasting changes that support both your wellbeing and your performance.
If self doubt has been getting in your way and you want to build real confidence that lasts, I offer one-to-one coaching tailored to your needs. Together we can create the strategies and support that help you move forward with clarity and assurance. Please feel free to reach out and let’s have a chat.
